Monday, November 30, 2009 . 9:28 PM
..i seriously HATE tis feelingi do admit before i make e choice..
i told myself i MUSTmake it this time.
but i failed.
after few days..i surrendered.
afterall is been so long..
is nt one day, two mth or three yr thing.
n nw..i happened to saw sth..
and e bad feeling came again.
hw i wish i can have more determination n nt surrender so easily.
but i noe is hard..is almost impossible.
im to used to it......
but dere some feeling..
no matter wt..i'll never get use to it.
i really cant find any words or sentence to describe it.
to be honest..
im utterly SICK & DISAPPOINTED with u.
i admit..my mind will think of those
gd times we had, those things tt u did etc
but most of e times..i tried v.hard to stop thinking
..i don wish to change my decision anymore
thinking of all these will surely
soften my hrt n back to e same problem again.
but i guess..no matter hw u try to avoid it or forget it..
if is still in ur hrt..
u'll only feel more n more unhappy each day.
i wish i could follow my decision..
but my hrt just wont follow.
wt a failure.
why does all e shit thing happened when u at ur lowest pit.
and all e shit thing onli make u feel more n more depress.
..i miss those days in genting,
even though i do think of e problems sometimes.
BUT as least i got family and relatives dere
to make me feel better.
back nw. nth make mi feel better but WORSE
_|_
..tis fcuking feeling consists of more than one problem.
is mixed with all kind of problems
but definitely nt any love problem. OK